You misspelled Jehovah
by CaideSin
Summary: Blasphemy served on a platter. [060606, crack]


So, he's been waiting for the world to end all morning. He looks up at the clear summer sky and sighs. He's lying in the grass in the front yard…just staring up there, waiting to see something. A horde of bats or a burning airplane crashing to Earth or at least a cloud. 

Axel keeps telling him that today isn't the end of the world. It's the end of the beginning. The anti-Christ is supposed to be _born_ today and…Roxas thinks that is not only boring but incredibly stupid. He's watching the sky…and it's sort of swirling a little.

The guy at church had said that today was the end of the world. Roxas hates church but his sister drags him anyway. She says that purity of soul is the best feeling anyone person has. She says it brings you that much closer to God if you go to church.

Roxas thinks that is not only boring but supremely stupid as well. He keeps waiting for this God guy to show up and…Naminé gives him a light smack to the back of the head when he mentions that and tells him that God is coming _soon_.

Roxas thinks that's just plain stupid. If God is, in fact, a god, then he's immortal. That means that soon is a euphemism for never. Naminé pretends not to hear him when he says that. Yeah, well he pretends not to hear her when she asks him if he does drugs.

So, it's mid-day and the world still hasn't ended. Xaldin has driven by on his motorcycle, a hallucinated dragon has flown past, Vexen has gone by with his Chihuahua, he's seen Marluxia's hot-pants clad ass up in the air as he worked on his garden, and Larxene's tits because even now she's lying naked on a lawn chair across the street and…The world hasn't ended.

He thinks that's a jip and decides to walk into town, he's only fifteen minutes from the mall on foot. On the way there, he marvels at his neighborhood and all it's suburban wonderment. No one really seems to care that the world is supposed to end today.

Axel joins him somewhere along the way, long teenage limbs looking right at home in his summer-wear. The redhead asks him how his doomsday watching is going and Roxas tells him not so good and Axel tells him he should become a Jehovah's Witness. Roxas stops walking and stares at him, meanwhile Axel breaks down laughing.

Demyx shouts to them from his porch, setting down his guitar and running towards them.

"Happy It's-Totally-Not-the-End-of-the-World Day, Demyx!" Roxas greets, aiming a kick at Axel's shins. It connects and Axel's laughter breaks off abruptly into 'ow, ow, ow, goddam, Roxas, ow and ow!'

"Where are you two headed?" Demyx sniggers.

"Town, maybe we can watch the horde of rats come erupting out from the sewers…"

They're only a few minutes from town now, so Demyx follows along as they talk and Axel is once again _trying _to explain that today might be the little Hell Spawns birth and Roxas' reply is simple.

"Two bucks says that he's already been born and it's Demyx."

Axel stares at him, not believing something so stupid came out of Roxas' mouth. "Were you smoking pot this morning? If you say yes I'm going to pummel you for holding out on me and if you say no I'm going to pummel you and call you an idiot, so decide what you value quickly."

"I'm serious. I bet two bucks and knowledge about the whereabouts of my stash….."

"Right, Demyx, c'mon, we have to settle this once and for all!"

And Demyx hasn't been listening at all, but he yelps as Axel drags him behind a building and begins to pull his clothes off.

"What are you doing?" the musician cries.

"Looking for the 6-6-6!"

"It's not on me!"

"Haha! Roxas, the money and the hash!"

"I'm broke and I smoked it this morning."

"You rat."

"Gah!" the naked Demyx proclaims, jerking his clothes back on.

"The world hasn't ended yet," Roxas observes, sitting down at the curb, watching cars go by and…he wishes one, just one, would burst into flames.

Some jabbering religious wacko comes up to the three teenagers and begins to tell them about the rapture, which Roxas thinks is a strange conversation to have with a disinterested group of teens the day the world is supposed to end and…Axel smacks him in the back of the head hard and says,

"Dammit, how many times do I have to tell you! Today is not the end of the fucking world!"

And their personal soul saver is going on about the rapture yet still so Demyx and Roxas make faces and begin their questions.

"So, about this rapture…"

"What happens?"

"I mean, if it were to happen right now…"

"Would you just…disappear?"

"Would you leave behind your clothes?"

"What _about_ the rest of us?"

"Have you ever considered the world would be a better place?"

Axel has broken down into laughter beside them and the man stares, yells that it isn't too late to save their souls and wanders away and…

The sun has begun to go down and the world still hasn't ended. They roam towards the movie theatre in a pack, the three of them. On their way into town they stop at a convenience store to get drinks.

It's really gotten dark, which is odd, and Roxas sincerely hopes that means the world is about to end, but he just looks up at the sky and there are clouds, that's it. Not Satan's black wings…clouds.

Well, they're wandering around now because it's nighttime and they're walking around the edge of a cornfield on their way back to their neighborhood.

"The world didn't end," Roxas laments.

Axel snarls and comes to a stop, the other two see, just by the light of the moon, his form riffling through his pockets. Then they hear the click of a lighter. The redhead stoops down and catches one of the leaves on fire. He urges them to walk as the flame spreads rapidly, crackling loudly all throughout the field.

"Close enough?" he grumbles.

Roxas grins. "Yeah."

"Holy shit," says Demyx astutely.

"Yeah," Roxas agrees.

The whole field is ablaze beside them casting them under the veil of flickering shadows.

Then some random buttseckz happened, **end**.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts and you can't blame it _all_ on the Jews. **


End file.
